Healthy Relationships

LwLOGO

Tonight's Living Waters lesson is called Healthy Same-sex Friendships.  As I was reviewing the lesson during my prayer time for the group leaders, teachers and participants I was reminded of how much God has changed my life in the past few years. 

During the years I hid my sexual addictions, my male friends were few and the relationships strained.  It was no one's fault but mine.  To me, men were foreign creatures that I craved.  I just couldn't understand how I was supposed to fit in with men socially.  So, if I was required to be in a group of men, I was usually on the edge or the back row, quietly watching and longing to belong.  If my participation was required, I generally overcompensated and became the clown of the party - Mr. Entertainment. 

I came to realize that all men deal with similar issues; we just respond to our issues in different ways.  The issue wasn't that I didn't belong to the CLUB OF MEN, it was more that I wouldn't be vulnerable enough to fit myself in.  I kept expecting an invitation.  Would someone please make me participate?  Would someone please call me a man?

It's funny how it finally happened.  It was in a small group of guys similar to our Living Waters groups.  These men were as messed up as I was and dealt with their own issues.  Finally, much like a misfit toy, I found a place to belong which gave me hope that I could become the mature man God called me to be.

I grew up emotionally in that environment - that place of belonging.   From 14 to 40 in a few months.  No longer did I see myself as a kid trying to fit into a man's world, I knew I am truly a man - and a man of God! 

Now, looking back, I think of men that God placed in my life through the years to challenge and encourage me.  I doubt that they knew the impact they had during the years we were friends.  I am thankful for Joe, Wayne, Rocky, Phil, Kevin, Mark, Todd, Gaylon, Steven, and Tim.  They loved and accepted me without requiring anything in return during the years that I had little to offer. 

Now I feel that I am surrounded by men like this, and this time I don't feel worthless.  I have something to offer to the relationship and hopefully am able to express my gratitude frequently.  I won't list them here because they know who they are (and I don't want to embarrass them!)  But I will say that in addition to these wonderful relationships, I also have some GREAT men in my family that I am so proud of!  My daddy is the most godly man I have ever known.  I am so proud of my son, Jonathan and my sons-in-law Chris and Jeff and my grandsons Chandler, Izaak, Braeden, Landon and Gavin.  They all make me a better man by their influence in my life. 

And that doesn't even take into consideration my wonderful wife and the other women in my life...  That's next week's lesson!